High Five

1. Say the whole word. Unless you are fifteen and on Snapchat, never sign off with TTFN or TTYL. A simple “talk soon” will more than suffice. Similar rules apply to abbreviating perfectly easy words like “totally” and “adorable.” It’s far from “adorbes” to talk like a fifteen-year-old.

2. Befriend the valet. Whether it’s at Polpo, Louie’s, Gabriele’s, l’escale or Warren Tricomi, get to know the valet guys. First of all, they’re nice (in some cases nicer than who’s inside—we’ll let you figure out who we’re talking about). And, second, once they know you, you’ll get the VIP treatment (no digging in your purse for your ticket at the end of the night—and your car’s always waiting right out front).

3. Don’t be shy. Change tables. Go ahead. You do not have to take the first table offered—in fact, you pretty much never should. We all know they try to ditch the dog tables first. In a similar vein, do not let the host or hostess hand you menus before you’ve even ordered a drink. In civilized society, it’s nice to chat over a cocktail before sticking your head in the menu.

4. Thank a cop on the Avenue. Those guys are out there day-in and day-out, in the rain, snow or boiling heat. It’s good to show your gratitude once in a while. They are there to keep you safe. And if you’ve lived here for a while, you know just how much they’ve changed. Back in the day if you crossed without their OK, they went all Dirty Harry on you. That’s reason enough to say thanks.

5. Stop swearing. Unless you have a really good reason, it’s not cool or cute. End of story.

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